My Hodgkin's Journey

My story is like many who found themselves with an unexpected lump on my neck. I was convinced it was just a tooth ache. After seeing two different doctors they were both not sure what was wrong with me. The doctor set up an appointment for me to have an ultrasound the following day. And then the next day I was doing the PET test where they inject you with a dye.  It was after this result that I was referred to an ENT because the tumour was suspected to be malignant. Oh yeah, this is the day I began to cry. What do you do when you learn that you have a malignant tumour that may be cancer? I burst into tears and the first person I wanted to speak to was my long time partner. I remember going to my partner's work place in a daze and I called him on the phone and asked him to come downstairs. He thought it was a fun visit until I shared the horrible news. He kept saying it may not be cancer dont worry lets wait for the biopsy. I cried uncontrollably like a lunatic. We sat on bench near the elevator and I began to cry and ask why me? Oh boy, this guy is amazing and we have been together for seven years now. He is a very private person and I will often refer to him as my partner rather than his name. He was not embarassed that I broke down in a shopping mall and people were passing by and staring. He comforted me and just told me to be strong. I remember that at some point we just broke out laughing because some women would pass and stare at us in a very strange way. We laughed as we imagined that they were thinking that maybe he was verbally abusing me and I was crying because I was helpless. That was funny. I must say I thought that I had lost the love of my life that day because who wants to be with someone with cancer.  But, nope, he stood there beside me and told me that he would be there all the way. I appreciated that very much.