In Sheep's Clothing....

How can you think of saying, "Friend, let me help you get rid of that speck in you eye, when you can't see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye, then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your frend's eye (Luke 6:42).

Have you ever come across certain people at the work place who pretend to be all smiles and nice in your face. But, the minute you turn your back the daggers are all out??? Unfortunately, I have got one or more of these I am dealing with currently and I have gone home with severe headaches. So, to relieve my stress, I decided to hit the library and came up with George Simon's book, "In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People". Quite an interesting read I must say and a hit on the bulls eye! Granted, stress is the last thing I need to check off my bucket list of goals of healing. (Studies show stress hormones make it easier for malignant tumours to grow and spread).  Of course, I don't want that to happen! So, I decided to expand my consciousness because the last time I had such experiences of underhanded ways people fight in their daily endeavours was in high school. You know when you had these two mean girls constantly ganging up on you in high school? Thats how it feels - AWFUL!!!! And by the way, I looked up underhanded and here is what I came up with: lack of straightforwardness and honesty in action, craftiness, deviousness, shadiness, shiftiness, slyness, sneakiness. Phew! that sounds absolutely awful and distasteful!

How does this play out? Don't ask for my opinion then get mad when I tell you how I feel and you intentionally throw in those sarcastic jabs in response. Why do you seem to relish in taking verbal jabs at me? Sarcasm is defined as "to tear flesh, gnash the teeth or speak bitterly". Wow! How sad...  Isn't that hypocritical? I think it is because hypocrites are deceitful and phoney. Professing one set of beliefs while living by another. Other scenarios are when the aggressor refuses to admit that they have done something hurtful and play the "Who.... Me.. Thats not what I meant..?" tactic inviting the victim to feel unjustified in confronting the aggressor about the inappropriateness of a behaviour whether its insensitivity, gossiping, backstabbing or the usual shadiness. Mind you, these individuals use backstabbing tactics only fit for losers. These individuals already believe that they are smarter and completely superior to humanity as a whole. They are narcissist, selfish and self centered. They are always telling everyone they are good hearted, they love peace and love everyone to get along. Blah blah blah Bullshit! excuse my French! They carry their angel wings, halo and fluffy white robe like they are the best thing God ever created. If you catch them they always have a story which does not make any sense at all. They run for positive lime light and like roaches scurry for darkness when the results for negative behaviours are being served. Their motivation is to look good at any cost. I think you are getting the drift of what I am saying.... These are toxic people who like to accuse, tantrum, manipulate and smear their way to getting their way or causing a fight. Their out of control emotions and self-centredness make the blame game and the smear campaign two of their favorite tactics for keeping you engaged with them so they can feed off you. These shady characters love to point fingers and never accept responsibility for anything. They make a lot of noise. Like my mother used to say, an empty can makes a lot of noise - it is true because their mouth is always going and going.....they are loud...blabbermouths and you wonder when they are you going to shut up??? Oh! God! Sometimes I just need my quiet moments because they are my healing moments.

Anyway, my philosophy in life is simple;  I believe life is too short to wake up with any regrets. So, I love the people who treat me right and I forget about the ones who don't. I guess I have reached a place in my life where I just need to let go of all the pointless drama and the people that create it and surround myself with people who make me laugh such that I forget the bad and focus solely on the good. After all, life is too short to be anything but happy. I have learnt that many people are like garbage trucks. Running around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger and full of disappointment. As the garbage piles up these people look for a place to dump it. And if you let them they will dump it on you. My two cents, when someone wants to dump on you don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well and keep it moving. Believe me, you'll be happier. Do you often engage with people who take pleasure in espousing crazy talk, negativity or languishing in the past? Here is my piece of advice, if you are surrounded by the former, I recommend weeding your personal garden of buzz kills, complainers, controllers and drama queens. Today, as I move forward, I just let go of these toxic people whom I just met yesterday and are trying to bring garbage and toxicity into my life. So, I am dropping the rope immediately and walking away. I just remembered I am surrounded by abundant love - my amazingly huge family and friends! So, letting go feels liberating, exhilerating and empowering. I feel renewed! Until next time, be kind to yourselves....