The funny thing is there are times when I did bend to societal conventions and just wished I had hair on my head. How sad... So, I bought this cute little wig which I am having serious doubts about after wearing it only a couple of times. With all the excessive sweating I mentioned earlier, I start out from home wearing the wig but just end up yanking it off my head simply because it makes me feel like my head has been placed in a steamer. The sweat starts dripping on my sides Ewww! You heard right, I yank off the wig even in public. It is just so laughable and funny. After enduring these really uncomfortable sweaty sporadic episodes, I for some strange reason gathered this fake confidence and I am not really bothered by those weird penetrating stares. This is me carrying through life with self-confidence, hair or no hair. I am rocking this bald head while liberating myself from this hair hype that its all about hair. I say its all about VANITY! I am making a conscious decision to overlook the stereotypes of normality placed on bald women particularly by western society in general. I come from Southern Africa and being bald is very common among women and a fashion trend. I recall that it is customary for widows and every family member who lose their parents to shave their heads in recognition of the loss and unfortunate status.
Come to think of it, before this journey, I had never put chemical in my hair or tried the fake hair weaves or wigs. That makes me a newbie to the hype who is failing dismally. I had always kept my hair natural short or in dreadlocks. I had never thought about what hair means to me. I guess my point is, when the world sees you differently, you too start seeing the world differently. Being bald has made me acutely aware that I may be perceived differently. In fact, people interact with me differently now. What a shame. I cannot believe women need hair to have societal approval. Despite how far as a society we have come, beauty and sexuality is still tied to a woman's hair. How stupid and shallow. Head shaving should not flout conventions of acceptable feminity. What happened to the concept of beauty lies from within??? Seriously, its just hair.... The sense of freedom that I am feeling is undeniable. Unfortunately, everyone does not interpret it that way. This bald is my personal and my political right now. I reject the status quo and will swag this bald for as long as it takes for my hair to grow. I am leading the way and not looking back to see if anyone is behind me. I am loving being bald, I am rocking it and rocking it well! Can I get an AMEN!
Just being bald made me think about deconstructing hair. Is bald sexy? At first, I thought yeah absolutely! There are several men I know who are bald and really look sexy. But then, I wondered why is it so hard for me then as a woman to feel sexy in this bald swag? Then it dawned on me that unlike women, lately, men have turned natural balding into a fashion statement by shaving it all off. Moreover, men do have the comfort of knowing that there are many companions out there to relate to. I am here thinking, maybe we should have some bald barbies or rather, let me set the trend and make bald sexy for women. After this reflection, I figured seriously the head does not need hair to be attractive. If my brain is well functioning which it is, I have the capacity to project all that is attractive in any human being. Anyway, I concluded that I will make this bald a stylistic choice hoping that no one will fault me for this personal choice. I am at a place where I have accepted that cancer is now my constant companion. Therefore, I think of things differently, meaning I focus on more important things rather than stressing on superficial stuff like appearances. Its hard to explain to anyone who has not gone through all this. The thing is, cancer makes you grieve for loss of a lot of things especially those little things I will not be able to get back. Having said that, the truth is I am not sure I will be able to walk the room with the same confidence or approach situations the same way. This cancer does leave an unsightly mark on one's psyche. But, I am working on everything beginning with this bald swag.
Until next time... Stay tuned...
Turn your swag on sister!! Actually, women being bald is sooo in here in Southern Africa. You are doing great...keep on keeping on Hun <3
ReplyDeleteAchihoro, that sounds like my mom achihoro. Thank you for your kind words. Just keeping on the good fight.
DeleteGirl to tell you the truth I thought you looked a lot better without the wig on Saturday....in the end the important thing is how you feel and even though it ain't easy maybe just stare back at those who stare at you...in the words of another iconoclase .'walk in the sweetness of the possession of your own soul" D.H.Lawrence
ReplyDeleteDiana
Diana, thanks for the blessed assurance. I tell you that wig turns me into such a hot mess. I will walk in that sweetness of the possession of my own soul as stated by DH Lawrence. Thank you for being a constant in my life and most important for making my day so special!
DeleteYou're rocking the bald look :). Like I always say, you have a beautifully shaped head ;). xoxo
ReplyDeleteTinashe, thank you so much for always making me feel so good even when my self esteem is shaking. I love you and I adore you.
Deleteoops...that should be iconoclast!
ReplyDeleteHa ha ha got it, iconoclast! I will attack the cherished beliefs about being a woman and being bald.
DeleteAMEN and a Hallelujah, SISTAH!!!
ReplyDeleteGo head on wit you bad self! I LOVE it!
You know, part of the story is that bald heads really ARE sexy. I think it's partly because of how bold they are on a woman. And we men will sometimes react to that kind of boldness the same way we're said to react to especially beautiful women - with timidity, shyness, FEAR!!! A bold woman, able to strut a bald head? Hey, she may be too much to handle! Some of the stares and apprehension will be just that.
But your post also made me think of how unusual baldness once was even for men. I remember when Yul Bryner and Telly Savalas were notable because they were the only men in the public eye with shaved heads. Every other man would hold on to any little tiny wisp of hair around the ears that he could preserve. Then - so suddenly really - it all changed, and we see these bald heads everywhere.
I haven't seen you in person yet - I'm so sorry I missed your celebration last week - and I hope to soon. But from the photo - Hey Sis, you are LOOKIN' GOOD! You have wonderful facial features and it suits you. Don't be surprised if - when the time comes - you don't WANT to grow it back!
Kirby, You are not just my friend but are my brother who I adore. Thank you so much for the kind words. Going forward, will take those stares as a sign of fear of the bold woman that I am. I missed you too but will see you soon rocking the fabulous bald head. Hope you had a fabulous time in Cuba.
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