Bending at times but not broken.......

Hello hello to y'all! I know its been quite a while since I posted. Forgive me for leaving you on a cliff hanger after all the twists and turns of my life. I was just feeling tired and uninspired. I guess thats a good thing. It means no news to report.  As time goes by, I sure have learnt that life is good when you allow it to flow naturally (easier said than done).  What I mean is being in the moment is not just being grateful for everything. That is kinda like going through life on auto pilot. Be open to whatever is that moment. Cry when you need to - whine when you need to (I do it unashamedly all the time), laugh at yourself afterwards and live abundantly.

I cannot say this enough. Cancer does not end the day of treatment. Its like you are forever sitting there behind the cancer veil waiting in uncertainty while everyone else  is on the other side. The emotional shocks are never ending there are always mountains to climb and potholes to fall in. While you always feel elated and grateful for being given a second chance, the struggle with fear and unavoidable uncertainty is not told often enough. The intensity of feelings of vulnerability and sadness are just unimaginable. Every bump along the way makes you feel like you are  getting sucked into the river of life without a paddle.  You feel like you are in a raging tempest, being tossed out in the raging waters. And as you get along you quickly learn to swim and go with the flow. After the tumbles and turns, I did smile knowing that whatever I am going through, I can handle it. I may not be able to handle it well with finesse or grace but, I will handle it. I am now frantically re-writing my emotional script and erasing old messages because life is rarely constant. Its been said that the only constant in life is change.

Enough of my ramblings.  I wanted to share with y’all that I have been doing well after the seemingly insurmountable obstacles of the past few months. I saw my oncologist last week and everything looks good. Beside needing to lose a few pounds, I am pleased to report that I have been healthy. I cannot wait to reach my two year mark and start calling myself a "cancer survivor". As I stand on the thresh-hold of some kind of victory, I feel excited and rejuvenated about what the future holds for me.

xoxo