Third Chemotherapy Update

Today, I had my third chemo and I have nothing pleasant to report. I started feeling nauseated just when I started treatment. Aaarrgghh..I felt so weak and just sick today. And then to make the whole process even more annoying my oncology nurse was male and he had this really weird attitude which really aggravated me. Yeah, I was really ticked off! I may be sick but being patronized is one of my biggest pet peeves. One of the manifestations of such patronizing attitude is when people call me names such as, "honey, darling, sweetie or dear". These manifestations come off as an insecure way of subtly putting me beneath you.

So, my Oncology male nurse kept calling me 'sweetie'. You should have seen me, I was simmering under my breath and just kept my cool through mentally counting backwards from 10 to 1. I swear I wanted to deck him between the balls. How rude! Sweetie is not a term of endearment. As far as I am concerned it is condescending and demeaning. Not only is it condescending and sexist but it just means you don't take me seriously as a mature adult. I hate being called sweetie or any other name that is primarily used when speaking to children. I wondered what a nerve! If he was not in a position of power today where he had a needle in hand and administering these toxic drugs through my vein, seriously we would have had a show down. Personally, I feel like its completely inappropriate for anyone to use the term sweetie especially to a stranger let alone a patient. And then, he started talking non stop about his person life. I just wanted to yell, "Shut the f**k up!" I was not feeling well neither was I in the mood for small chit chat about nothing. There, that is my rant and rave for today.

I must say, each chemo is harder than the previous. The only way I can describe this experience is, "Nightmare!" This experience is just life changing and intrudes on every single thing. Each day is a struggle to live through the side effects which seem to get worse with each chemotherapy session. Ya'll chemo sucks! After the chemo ordeal, I am feeling really sick and just need my bed. Allow me some shut eye and will write more soon. Thank you for your patience....