Its Christmas! But Radiation continues. So far, Day # 3 to # 7 done

I cannot believe its Christmas! No, I am not saying that with any enthusiasm or gusto at all. This is one heck of a Christmas where I accept the title of Grinch who stole Christmas without shame. Its funny that in the Western world the pandemonium about gifts is nothing but very fascinating. I don't know why I am surprised because in Africa, christmas was a colonial invention. Back home, its more about decompressing for probably four days getting together with family including extended family. Its not a one day event and people spend the whole four days sleeping over and having fun. In fact, growing up, I don't recall any frenzy about buying gifts. Its only young children who get new clothes and toys. Instead, everyone is all excited about receiving their end of year bonus affectionately called "the 13th Cheque". Everyone is excited and planning and budgetting including upgrading their furniture or making big purchases like a house or a car. What stands out for me was how everyone was all excited about going to spend Christmas with their parents or in-laws who often live far away and distance does not matter. Thank God my parents live one hour from the capital city and that always made it easy for all of us. Let me tell you about my fabulous family -  it is exactly like the Madea Reunion if you know what I mean. I chuckle every time I watch that movie. Yeah, my family is really XXXLarge. Given an opportunity my family can make up a small town on their own. I miss you all and all the good times at this time of the year. I wish you a fabulous Christmas filled with joy and happiness.

My radiation treatments will continue without a break except for the usual weekend. How can I get excited when these treatments leave me constantly nauseated and cranky for the most part? No amount of positive thoughts or affirmations can make me feel any better for now. Just saying! With that said, I hope you have all done your preparations and shopping. To the  "procrastinators" don't stress you still have a couple of days to run around. Don't sweat and don't break a leg at the mall!

After a somewhat long hiatus, I figured since I am having radiation every single day it would be much easier for me to post on a weekly basis unless there is something really pressing to report on. The daily radiation treatments have been really hectic and leave me with all my energy depleted. Every time I am done with radiation I just feel so drained and cannot even engage in small talk. I find myself dozing and just snoozing away sporadically without any warning. Here is the interesting tit bit, this week as I was lying down having my radiation, I suddenly heard Christmas corals playing in the room. Geez! I thought, "Joy to the world?" really? I don't think so. As I lay there I thought I am having the worst time of my life and joy doesn't really fit into this equation.

First off, its uncomfortable and claustrophobic wearing the special radiation mask. To make it worse, you are screwed onto this hard bed..... Secondly, I am nauseated every single day and eating has become a chore because I am constantly worried that it will come out. Then, I also thought, maybe I am being a Grinch who hates Christmas just because I cannot eat properly. I just finished 5 treatments of radiation from Monday to Friday and the thing that is bothering me a lot is the nausea and vomiting. That has been the biggest issue for me so far. However, I am glad that I had an appointment with my Radiation Oncologist today and he gave me a script for some more drugs that are supposed to help. I keep wondering once this is all done how much toxicity will I be carrying around?