Celebrating Life - Its Tapfuma's 18th Birthday

Lets celebrate just living and lets make everyday a holiday! Today, I celebrate life and the beauty that it bestows upon all of us. I may be sick but its important that we celebrate life and still stand strong when adversity hits. Yesterday was my son Tapfuma's 18th birthday and I feel it is befitting that I honour and appreciate this special man in my life who brings joy not only to me, but to every person he encounters. He is a true blessing! I am therefore sharing with you the special letter I wrote to him.

Dear Tapfuma Garabga:

To tell you the truth, I am already a complete mess because its your 18th birthday. I am a bundle of emotions and uncontrollable tears just thinking where did the past 18 years go? I wish your lovely dad Ticharwa Garabga would see you. He would be so proud! Now, all these plans to go to University out of Province and living alone! Phew! time went by so fast. Thank God, all my tears hold no regrets. They are all tears of joy just knowing that you have grown into an incredible man that you are. I love you so much more than you could ever imagine and I am so proud of you. You are the joy and light of my life. Now, let me try to describe the gift that you have given me even though I know it may be a major undertaking. You have given to me the gift of love. You have taught me how to say "I love you" as many times as I see you. And those hugs and kisses mean so much to me. You are so loving and so giving. I am unable to articulate it into words that anyone can comprehend. I am so grateful that God gave us such a loving and close relationship. I remember when you were young most people told me to "enjoy that you talk to me so openly - others said it will not always be that way". Thank you for proving every one of them wrong!

But, how did you get to be so tall even taller than me? How did you get so independent, so capable, so complex and so funny? You are not only unconditionally present but, absolutely real and so loving. As I anticipate your transition to adulthood whatever that means, I still find it difficult to put it into words. There are so many more things I still want to teach you because I feel that you have many more wonderful stages of life still to come. I want you to know that no matter how many lemons life sends you, I will be there to see you through putting them up on Ebay for sale. If I am not there in person, then I will be in your heart. I know... I know.. I always say children don't come with a" User Manual" but here is the user manual advice I have for you. In life, always take responsibility for your actions irrespective of whether they are good or bad. And remember that in this  life if you cannot change something, it is always better to change the way you think about whatever it is.

Just, like , I have told you before, life can be cruel and there may be suffering along the way. When that happens, don't allow such hiccups to make you retreat from life. Face your challenges and celebrate your victories. Be open to new experiences and to new people because it is these incredible people who will create the best times of your life and will be there during your toughest times. You are an intelligent young man and I don't ever want to hear you use CAN'T as an excuse. ALWAYS TRY even when you can't. For sure you will meet some people who will try to outdo you, but remember my anthem, "Life is not a competition. Its a journey". So if you spend that journey just trying to impress others or outdoing others, trust me - you will be wasting your journey. Instead, I want you to turn your life into a journey of happiness, love, constant learning and continual improvement. Always be kind to others even when you feel they are undeserving. Let others see you from the inside and share your amazing spirit with them. And, remember, it is okay to show your true feelings and resist bending to the gender stereotypes. They are man-made just like racial stereotypes. We have talked about this already and I know that you are well informed. Most important, love yourself even when others may criticize you. I want you to always know that you are nothing less than the wonderful, sensitive, funny, strong, loyal, multifaceted and intuitive young man that I am so profoundly proud of to call my son. I want you to be proud of your efforts in life and always give thanks for the efforts of others. Most of all, remember that respect is not assigned, but earned. Because respect is a continuous effort, recognize that it occurs with every interaction you will have. So, earn it every single day and give it generously. Welcome to adulthood and take your place. Finally, enjoy your adulthood and know that I love you unconditionally!

Much Love
Your Mom